What Kind Of Jew Am I?

What kind of Jew am I? This is a question asked by many who were raised in a Jewish family, or by many who are considering joining the Covenant and becoming Jews themselves. I believe this is due to facts of recent Jewish history that shifted Judaism away from being a path to a personal connection with the Divine and towards being a system of ethical behavior and the survival of the Jewish people. Here's what I mean.

For centuries, Jews faced persecution in various forms from mass pogroms to being forced to live separately in crowded ghettos throughout Europe. In some ways, this insulated Judaism from outside influences and lead to an authoritarian, legalistic type faith, as Jewish scholars debated the intricate details of a faith that covered every aspect of Jewish existence. At times, this lead to efforts of reform such as those of the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Hasidic Judaism, who valiantly attempted to expand Judaism away from the learned Talmudists and towards the uneducated masses through methods of simple prayer, dance and celebration. He and many of his followers were excommunicated for their efforts to democratize the Jewish faith and eventually even his efforts seem to have had limited effect, as current Hasidic sects are among the most ultra-Orthodox denominations of Judaism. Of course, the biggest effort of reform in recent times was by the denomination whose name is Reform.

The mid-1800's was a time of emancipation for many across Europe, including the Jews. For the first time in centuries, they were allowed to leave the confining walls of the ghetto and to participate in all aspects of society. With this liberation came the questions of how to function as a Jew in modern society and how to minimize, or even erase the things that separated Jews from their European brothers and sisters. Judaism had been an evolving faith that grew with time and sloughed off practices that had become irrelevant and unimportant while maintaining the spirit of the Jewish traditions in a more relevant form. But for those who followed the Reform movement, this wasn't happening fast enough. In their zeal for modern rationalism, they perceived many Jewish practices as being superstitious and archaic and sought to simply focus on the ethical aspects of their faith in creating a Jewish practice compatible with modern life. While there was much debate as to how much of Jewish practice to leave behind, the more liberal advocates won the day and Judaism for them became a rational system of ethical and moral laws only. This may seem like an enlightened position until one realizes that it has lead to generations of spiritually starved Jews who grew up finding little relevance in the faith of their ancestors and in some cases sought their spirituality elsewhere (such as the many that have been attracted to Buddhism and other Eastern Religions).

Two other denominations within Judaism developed solely as a reaction to what they believed to be the radical positions taken by the Reform movement. The Orthodox and Hasidic branches of Judaism took the opposite extreme and tried to hold on to every element of traditional Jewish practice, no matter how irrelevant and archaic, not even allowing for the normal historic growth that had existed within Judaism prior to the Reform movement. The Conservative movement looked at both the Reform and the Orthodox and sought a middle of the road path that didn't drift too far to either extreme. Since World War II, two other movements have formed within Judaism. The Reconstructionists originated from within the Conservative movement, but saw Judaism as not just a faith, but as a religious civilization complete with language, music and customs that were unique. As the Reform in recent years have sought to regain some of the historic traditions they initially rejected, the Reconstructionists have evolved into the most liberal of the Jewish movements. The Jewish Renewal movement has come from Hasidic traditions and is attempting to infuse Judaism with the vital spirituality of its past including the regaining of lost practices and beliefs such as meditation and reincarnation. Their goal is to develop a spiritually meaningful Judaism based on developing a personal relationship with God by relearning the mystical traditions of Kabbalah and the prophets of Judaism's past. Unlike the modern-day Hasids, they seek to revitalize Judaism in a modern context.

So back to the question...What kind of Jew am I? For me, the answer has come after much soul-searching and even disbelief. I've mentioned this before, but at age 13 I suffered a spinal injury that completely turned my life upside-down and lead me through years of spiritual questioning and disbelief. None of the Jewish movements truly fit me and for the most part I found the faith stale and irrelevant. I looked at other religions and then with my discovery of Kabbalah and the Hasidic movement of the Baal Shem Tov, eventually came home to Judaism. Today when asked, I tell people that I'm a "fiddler on the roof Jew." What I mean by this is that the Judaism I seek and am passionate about is one based on personal devotion and experience of the Divine. I was a believer of and inspired by reincarnation and meditative practices before I learned they were part of historic Judaism. More recently, I've learned about the Jewish Renewal movement and would say there is much there that inspires me except for some of the liberal political causes they've gotten involved with.

To me, that is what is important in finding a meaningful Judaism that speaks to you. It is understanding what elements of our faith are most important to you and then finding a rabbi and a synagogue that reinforces that message for you. And should you not find one that totally fits you that is okay. For one of the most important aspects of Judaism is the fact that the core of Jewish practice happens at home and with the family and not in the synagogue. It is there that you can personalize Judaism and make it most meaningful to you. The key is to remember that Judaism is a path of return to divine consciousness and awareness and one that will eventually lead to the realization of heaven on earth. One of the primary teachings of Judaism is that each of us has a special purpose here on earth that only we can fulfill and a personal relationship with God through our faith is the best way to discover that individual purpose.

In closing, I would just like to express my opinion that with the last couple of generations that came after the Holocaust, for many their faith was based on preserving their Jewish identity in order to honor those ancestors that perished and as a form of victory over the Nazi philosophy. This is understandable, as much of Judaism's personal spirituality had been stripped away by efforts of modernizing the faith. But now, I believe it is important to regain that lost legacy of Jewish tradition that we are co-creators with God and capable of a direct, personal experience of the Divine. It is time we return to a Judaism that speaks to us as individual Jews and not just to the memory of those who perished before us.

Until next time....

Shmuel